Disorganized thoughts....

There have been so many changes in my life in recent months. Most of which, no one can see on the outside.
I fulfill my obligations to family, and work, and yet I feel as though I am just observing this life, this is not my real life.
I am so totally different on the inside. My family has only seen glimpses of that fact. To them, I am the same person I was, and they treat me the same.
Everything I had based my life on before was misinformation. I have discussed the christian brainwashing I received growing up, and how I have worked my way past that, but it has gone so much further. Discovering the morality that makes sense to me, discovering that contrary to popular belief, those who do not adhere to christian morality do have their own moral code. The difference is, that now I am choosing every detail, and not blindly following preconceived rules.
I observe people in my life now, instead of just dealing with them without a second thought.
For instance, the woman I worked with this morning. She is in her late 60s, working just to keep the insurance, been in the store for over 10 years. She is so stuck in a rut that anything that changes in the store just throws her, and she complains about not fixing what isn't broke. No one can do anything right except her, and she is constantly judging others,just appalled at how some people live their lives and she loves gossiping. I was just looking at her working this morning and realized what a miserable existence that must be, and she doesn't even know it.
I have also realized that within Sir's ownership, I am more free to become my true self than I ever was before. I grew up being taught that society's opinions are so much more important than my own - what others thought of me was the one thing that mattered most. Now, Sir is happy with who I am... Anyone else that isn't, technically would deal with Him, as I am His possession, and I am no longer affected by other's opinions of me, only His opinion. I am discovering, also, that I am so lucky to belong to a man who has my best interests in His heart, who looks to my needs and welfare so completely. He listens to my opinions, and values my intelligence ( a man who actually acknowledges my intelligence!). Serving Him is such an act of love on my part... I seem to feel a bit like a soldier who would follow his commanding officer into the fires of hell because of the love and respect he holds for him... I would follow Sir anywhere - sacrifice anything to be with Him - I am so completely sure of His love for me, and His ability to protect me, and guide me, through the rest of my life.